MY KENNS

Denial

2010-02-08T23:23:00.003+08:00

Denial is something we, as parents of a child with special needs, struggle continually at various stages. It ebbs and flows, coming in and going out like the tide waters of the ocean. It tries to give u peace of mind when you stay at denial stage.

From the point of our denial of getting him an OKU card, One of my other "denial" factors dealt with getting a wheelchair and all sorts of the handicapped' equipments. Our therapists must have recommended getting a paediatric chair back when Jia Kenn was one. They also never forget to remind you during each visit with all their úseful' tools. Thankfully, denial could set in for a little bit longer until he turned two. I was in denial of the fact he would ever need a WHEELCHAIR.

But, ugly truth always catches up with you. Truth has a nasty way of slapping you in the face sometimes. It keeps reminding you everyday with the difficulties he has to deal with as he grows older. e.g. scoliosis.

Special chair denial... faced and overcome. I have overcome it, I couldn't recall how did I overcome it, but we finally bought a special chair for Jia Kenn. That's still to be fully determined I suppose. As stated above, denial has a funny way of ebbing and flowing, coming and going. One day here, next day gone, only to return again in another area. 'This is the life of the parent raising a child with special needs. I have yet to overcome ''wheelchair' denial.

It's not that I'm opposed to the chair, hate it, or feel animosity against it. It's the denial. I always thought he would just eventually be able to walk. That one miraculous day, he'd be able to stand and fend for himself, even if a bit clumsy. That's still a miracle.

We will continue working with traditional and alternative therapies, always keeping our fingers crossed hoping that he shall be able to walk/stand by himself one day. Until then, we have the chair to make his life easier for the time being.

And denial will continue to find a place to harbour in our life.

Second Phase

2009-11-09T00:01:00.007+08:00

After coming to know JK's MRI results, knowingly we were well prepared for his severity, disappointment and sadness still shadowed me a lot though . I have to be honest, I was saddened by the results and his progress. I guess this is natural for all parents. This is the time about maintaining our high EQ. Why is he not progressing well? Are we not doing enough?

We have started to go for HBOT, I think the traditional way is not helping him a lot. The time allocated for his exercise has gone to the max and I just cannot explain how taxing it gets sometimes.

One of the neurologists told us that gross motor skills are quite well developed at the age of 2 and our motor skills are 80% equally functional as an adult by then. How scary this sounded to parents like us. The scary truth is, our boys are going to be 2 next week and JK is not sitting well yet. I always want to maintain my calmness and readiness in a worst case, however when this repeats too many times in a row, it still hurts and hits me a lot.

We wanna do more for JK. HBOT came to our mind. JK became very alert and drooling lesser after 20 sessions, that injected some confidence in continuing the treatment. However, his other treatments have not been put a stop yet. You can imagine how tiring he is in coping with all the neurosuit exercises and treatment everyday. I must credit him with a big thumb-up!

On the other hand, Eu Kenn has joined gymboree classes and having a great time there! My life is still well compensated by these two boys uh, look at their cutie faces!

Do you have a choice?

2009-08-13T13:58:00.005+08:00

Life is about choices sometimes. If you are lucky enough, you get to choose a better one, will we end up the same just like the movie 'sliding doors'? but do we always have a choice? Nope, we don't sometimes. Can we choose our parents, siblings or relatives? haha, I am lucky enough to have good ones for all.

Jia Kenn's doctor once told me that I am the one making options for him, he did't get to choose for himself. It's 'parents' who decide the son's ability, especially for special needs, he didn't get to choose at all for now! But he didn't also choose himself to be cerebral palsy in the first place?? Was he given a choice in the first place?

Anyway, in other words, my decision is very important for the growth of my children. I am just confused with the options available for JK now, with limited time allowance, I need to work out the best for him. The question is: what's the best for him? I am puzzled. Glen Doman, NeuroSuit, Chinese herbs ....etc. you name it! Everyone is telling me all sorts of things!!

I hope what we have been doing for Jia Kenn is on the right path, be persistent, tough and consistent. Have faith in ourselves :) Out of no-choice, we will make miracles!!

NeuroSuit Therapy...yes or no?

2009-07-27T22:33:00.004+08:00

We are rather undecisive on the neurosuit therapy for Jia Kenn, after much consideration in terms of costing and its reliability, hmmm...... chances are we would give it a 'GO' !

Okay okay, maybe we are desperate or frustrated, we must be re-energized and injected with more confidence to start on the new thing on him! Looking at how JK was crying over the suit and the stretches he had to encounter during the examination by the neurosuit therapist, we really want to know how amazing the suit can be though it's still not 100% catching our confidence at the moment. On the other hand, i wonder how's JK's pal doing, little Ridhwan who went for the same try-out.

Our sweet little boy is still having lots of problems with his volunteered movements, with the aid of the suit, I really look for miracles on him! Let's keep our positive energy ON and fingers crossed too!!!

Our little achievement!

2009-07-18T13:27:00.005+08:00

This is so encouraging to see Jia Kenn holding a bottle on his own, it may only last for minutes though, it is already so motivating for us! At least he tries with his own hand you see... On top of that, Jia Kenn can hold up his head and sit for a little while, we have timed him, max is 1 minute!! so great to see that! There's still a long way to reach balancing anyway!

Let's look for more improvements to come soon!

命里有时，终须有，命里无时，莫强求

2009-06-25T14:52:00.012+08:00

The journey of my parenthood has always challenged me with guilt, pain and incredible responsibility towards my children, especially on little Jia Kenn. As I continue to support a more fruitful life for my children, that has more often left me with frustration and emotional drained. However, something has changed me in a couple of days ago.

As a spiritual path I believe in God's work and how he has chosen us to be parents of a very special child. Our life expectancy leaves many unanswered questions all the time. I always question myself about Jia Kenn's future. However, an incidence has changed my mind, my love for both my sons will only be on accumulative basis, just leave the questions be unanswered, be it favourable or otherwise. I will love Jia Kenn the way he is and I will enjoy being a dedicated mother and not to stress myself by having too many questions. Our life can be very fragile and unpredictable. I wouldn't want to plan for the unplanned but to work my best. Thanking all the medical professionals who have saved my sons , especially JK who was very critical, and brought us joy in life. Our boys complete our life.

Our Little Fighters!

2009-06-05T12:31:00.000+08:00

Our little Jia Kenn loves swimming!! It's been couple of months since Jia Kenn started going for aquatic therapy. With strong belief in early intervention program, we have finally got Jia Kenn accepted into spastic centre to ulitise the heated pool.

After months of familiarisation, this little boy started playing with water now. I couldn't describe how playful he could get sometimes and intolerable too at times. To our consolation, he could lift up his head better in the water now. We aim to get him more flexible in the water, apparently, it's believed that warm water can break spasticity. He's still fighting for it! Take a look at the fighter's pictures!

On the other hand, Eu Kenn is gradually getting more understanding now. He likes to fight for all the toys especially when the brother is playing with it. This has added a new episode in my parenthood. See, he has won over the little car from jeh jeh! Fighter 2.

Here they are the two little fighters! Though they are growing in two different directions, I believe their hearts are always together! What else is new, they shared the same tummy before coming to this world!

Determination

2009-04-25T12:33:00.000+08:00

To be honest, our determination on acupuncture is fading off a little day by day. We have not seen any drastic change in little JK. This is very frustrating as the treatment has become part of our daily routine now and we are not seeing results until now. Hmm........are we not patient enough? Can God show me some directions......

This is what Jia Kenn usually does when he's having acupuncture treatment :) haha .... let's maintain our high EQ like JK does!

My First Pair of AFO!

2009-04-19T15:28:00.001+08:00

Ha, didi has finally got his first pair of AFO, as expected, he was rather uneasy when it was first put on him. Anyway, we were not very happy about the design as it looks too plastic for us. It wasn't meant to be an eye-catching object actually, however, he receives lots of 'passionate' views wherever he goes. If you happen to see a boy wearing this, do not look at them attentively okay! I still think he's good looking ever. Beauty lies in the eyes of beholder :)

Energizer King (EK)

2009-04-16T23:03:00.000+08:00

EK: He he... I think mom is looking away ...... I have something in my mind...hmmm...

I wanna climb up the sofa, let's do it fast and furious.....haha... I am almost there..

ooooooooooopppppppppppsssssssssss.....i am spotted!!
Ah Ma, I just wanna read the book only lah......I wasn't doing anything!

See, I am picking up my book.

It's always fun to witness the growth of your children. There are too many not-to-be-missed events that can make your day! ha, Eu Kenn is such a big manipulator that he always likes to get attention. He's also a spoilt brat too and having been trying to get his way out most of the time. (on selected people).

I hope I won't neglect the growth of EK and keep him on the right track. Most importantly, he will grow to be an understanding and helpful boy to his brother..... :) let's wait and see the change of a naughty boy to a helpful boy!

The toughest period

2009-04-02T16:02:00.000+08:00

I believe that everyone will have a trough time in their life, and this is the time we are experiencing it. Besides the tears I had for Jia Kenn, the routines of taking care my twins still went on. I couldn't recall or describe the pain we suffered and just to stay at denial stage. Deep in my heart, I did understand that refusal to accept the fact didn't help the growth of Jia Kenn at all. God has given me a big challenge this time. Once a friend told me that God had chosen you to be the one because you are special, special child needs a special mother. We ensure ourselves by saying ''if he could walk through pneumothorax, he can do it this time too!"

We wouldn't want to be traumatized by the fact. Without further delay, We have dredged up the best effort to help him. Jia Kenn is a busy boy now! From Monday till Sunday, his schedule is full of activities, you name it, he has it all in the basket! Occupational therapy, physio therapy, shichida, music class and aquatic therapy. He barely gets to rest at times. I must say that he's the strongest and toughest boy in the world, he's well adjusted into the schedule now.

From a crying baby to a hardworking boy, Jia Kenn has really improved a lot in terms of focusing and responsiveness. hmmmm........physical movement is not good enough though. A lot of work needs to be done still. Is this what we call growing pains? I am sure Jia Kenn has a different one.

On the other hand, Eu Kenn is a normal growing boy. He's picking up a lot cheeky stuff and trying to get attention from all of us. Despite the fact being a spoilt brat, he can learn things pretty fast especially building up jealousy in the needy brother. Well, he's just a baby afterall, we can't expect too much huh.

Aren't we lucky to have a pair of twins? Look at their lovely and angelic faces!

Jia Kenn's first acupuncture treatment!

2009-04-02T15:36:00.000+08:00

We have finally decided to bring JK for acupuncture! To our surprise, it was so simple and painless (I presume), JK was such a good boy that he didn't even yell or traumatized by the treatment. But i am not sure how long he can persist to this treatment.

Anyway, we made fun of him by calling him 'tele tubby'as the needles do appear to be the 'wink wink' attached to teletubbies.

Eu Kenn couldn't stop looking at the brother and wanted to get a hold of it.........

Let's keep our fingers crossed for more better results to come......

The little Kenns

2009-03-31T22:08:00.000+08:00

If i were to detail my preliminary stage of my motherhood, it wouldn't be an easy task at all. Things just couldn't be expressed and jotted down on a piece of paper as it's certainly an extraordinary chapter in my life.

From the moment I was flattered with carrying twins and I am fully conquered by the two now, it's been really a long way. I always feel it was a right choice forgoing my career and blend with the growth of my children.

Both my boys, Eu Kenn and Jia Kenn are premmies . You wouldn't believe how small lives can be, they both weighed 1kg and 1.5kg respectively during birth. I can still remember vividly the days spent in NICU with my boys. I describe this experience as a roller-coaster ride. Boy, isn't that true! We continue to be thankful that each 'down' has been followed by an üp". This has been especially true in the couple of months.

I took a deep breath while looking at the tiny hands, faces and legs.....phewww.......they are so complete and beautiful! Eu Kenn stayed 1.5 months in the hospital due to his low birth weight, whereareas Jia Kenn went home after 1 month stay. I couldn't wait to hold my boys in the arms and longed for their coming home. I promise myself to try all out to balloon my boys!!! With strong endurance and hardwork, they did grow bigger in size.

Jia Kenn was a hard boy to raise during his infancy, I was practically emotionally breakdown when taking care of Jia Kenn. There was no pacifier to his unconsolable cries in the first few months. All these had really put me off at times and I seriously couldn't handle him at all! Depression....depression and depression........In his 5th month, I got to know the most disheartening news in my life, we learnt that he is diagnosed with cerebral palsy. And the stories began here.....